You're Wearing That? by Deborah Tannen

Deborah Tannen has written several books on interpersonal communication--this one is about communication between mothers and their daughters. Mostly, Tannen says that communication problems between mothers and daughters arise from their extremely close relationships, but there are other problems she identifies:

Mothers feel a special privilege to talk about things that are not well received by their daughters (e.g. weight, hair, clothing), because they feel responsible for them and because they are looking out for them.

Daughters are frequently reacting to the "meta" communication, rather than to what is actually said.

Some mothers are really awful.

Many mothers want their daughters to be the same as them.

I didn't find a lot of bolt from the blue insights here, but some ideas Tannen points out are worth considering, particularly if you are a mother or a daughter who is experiencing difficulties in your relationship with your daughter or your mother.